


Clean Up

by scarletstar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Baekhyun kind of has germophobia, Byun Baekhyun & Do Kyungsoo | D.O are Best Friends, Byun Baekhyun & Kim Jongdae | Chen are Best Friends, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sweet Park Chanyeol, Xiuchen is only mentioned, chanbaek doesn't really happen until the end, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:03:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletstar/pseuds/scarletstar
Summary: his journey home is uneventful and he eventually calms his heart, but he still scrubs himself raw in the shower when he gets home, water so hot he’s sure he’s burnt himself.baekhyun is not a fan of dirty places.





	Clean Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sirashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirashi/gifts).



> i tried my best  
> my lack of sleep caught up to me as i neared the end so if it seems rushed or like it keeps dragging on, i apologize.  
> besides all that, i hope you like it ?

 

 

 

baekhyun takes a deep breath, trying to calm his heart rate. he holds his hands close to his body, trying desperately not to touch anything. despite his best efforts his heart picks up the pace and his breathing becomes uneven. it takes everything in him not to go into a full-on panic as he glances at his surroundings. 

 

he is currently sitting on chanyeol’s couch, in chanyeol’s home, surrounded but all of chanyeol’s — shit. 

 

that is honestly the nicest way baekhyun can put it. when he’s first entered his maybe-hopefully-someday-boyfriend’s home, he’d nearly had a heart attack. 

 

okay, so, maybe a  _ little  _ bit of an overreaction, but baekhyun had this — thing, with germs and messes and, well, really anything that was dirty. logically, he knew everything was dirty. nothing could ever possibly be completely, 100% clean, and he once learned something in a science class  about germs being important to life on earth and that they were everywhere, but  _ gods.  _ chanyeol’s place was truly the most horrifying thing he’d ever seen. 

 

(lies. jongdae has once shown him a clip from this show he was really into,  _ the walking dead,  _ in which one of the characters got their skull beat in with a baseball bat. baekhyun hadn’t ever watched the show before but after  _ that _ , well, he had no desire to even try to get into it. he was perfectly fine with his much-less-gruesome anime, thank you very much.)

 

anyways. here he was in chanyeol’s living room, surrounded by probably the most anxiety-inducing mess he’d ever seen, desperately trying not to freak out. 

 

“ — baekhyun?”

 

he jerks, head snapping up to look chanyeol in the eye. had chanyeol been talking this whole time?

 

“... yes?”

 

chanyeol sighs in playful exasperation. “i asked if you wanted anything to eat.”

 

baekhyun perks up immediately, almost thoughtlessly nodding his head before he realizes. chanyeol, has been feeding him food … made in these conditions? baekhyun pales. 

 

“u-um. maybe, you know, we could order something in? i’ve, uh, been craving … pizza? since yesterday,” he stutters out. 

 

“oh. okay, i think i have coupons for the place down the road somewhere. let me just go get …” he stands, easily moving across his messy floor to his kitchen.  

 

he wants to cringe at his own behaviour but he literally  _ cannot  _ eat any food chanyeol makes him now that he’s seen his home. he already wants to claw his insides out just thinking of those delicious cookies chanyeol had given him last week. 

 

quickly shoving the thought away, he looks around for a distraction. this proves to be when, unfortunately, he spots a plate carelessly tossed on what appears to have once been a very nice coffee table. the plate itself isn’t a problem, of course, it’s the —  _ oh no.  _

 

baekhyun tries not to throw up. he is very sure that there was once a very delicious sandwich, but after sitting there for who knows how long, it has turned into a lump of fuzzy green nastiness. 

 

he shoots up from his spot on the couch. 

 

baekhyun has — he has to get out of here,  _ oh gods, he has to get out of here.  _

 

heart beating so far up into his throat he feels as if though he’s choking, baekhyun rushes across the room and to the door. 

 

(he  _ does not  _ notice the rotten apple core on top of an old textbook or the old teacup that has developed its own thriving society or the fact that he  _ can’t see the fucking floor _ )

 

he grips his phone in one hand and his keys in the other, to give his hands something to do. 

 

(he hasn’t scratched the skin off the back of his hand in almost three months and he wasn’t about to break the record now.)

 

“actually,” he starts, ignoring the way his voice shakes. he hears chanyeol pause his rummaging through his kitchen. “i’m actually — i’ve just remembered i have something to do. i  _ really  _ have to be going.”

 

chanyeol’s head pops around the corner. baekhyun hopes his face doesn’t give his panic away. his hands are sweaty. 

 

“oh, are you sure? i mean, yeah. okay. talk to you later?” baekhyun’s heart clenches at the face chanyeol makes at him. he doesn’t think he does it consciously, but sometimes the giant could be so cute. 

 

if only his house wasn’t seemingly specifically decorated to give baekhyun an anxiety attack. 

 

“uh, sure. later. goodbye.”

 

his journey home is uneventful and he eventually calms his heart, but he still scrubs himself raw in the shower when he gets home, water so hot he’s sure he’s burnt himself. 

 

* * *

 

 

there’s a knock on his door, quick and sharp, before kyungsoo pokes his head in.

 

“hey,” his friend speaks up. 

 

baekhyun nods, barely bothering to look up from what he’s doing. the marker feels good against his skin, and his latest work is nearly finished. 

 

the bed dips next to him as kyungsoo takes a seat. his friend reaches up to brush a few strands of hair away from his face. 

 

“baekhyun,” kyungsoo says. “what — what happened this time? i haven’t seen you this bad in months.”

 

baekhyun quickly finishes colouring in the last bit of his alien’s hair. he pulls back from his leg, capping the marker and turning to his friend. 

 

he knows what kyungsoo means, of course he does. whenever he feels dirty, he tends to claw at himself, like he’s trying to scrape the filth off. most of the time he doesn’t realize until someone stops him, and by then he’s normally scratched so deep he’s bleeding. 

 

after years of this, jongdae and kyungsoo had both come up with the idea to get baekhyun to draw in himself instead. at first, he just felt like he was adding for dirt on top of the filth that was already there, but now the feel of his markers gliding across his skin calms him. he always carries one with him, just in case. 

 

what kyungsoo is referring to, at this particular moment in time, are the giant drawings spanning both of his legs and one arm. normally he sticks to small drawings, little sketches that no one would notice if they weren’t looking closely, but today he is covered with ink. a rainbow of colours covers every inch of skin he could easily reach. 

 

“i went to chanyeol’s house today,” he starts. he resists the urge to grab another marker, instead folding his hands in his lap. 

 

“okay, but that doesn’t explain why you’re like this.”

 

baekhyun sighs. he wants to close his eyes but is afraid he’ll see the horror from earlier in the day. “his house — soo, you should have  _ seen it _ .  _ gods _ , it was so disgusting. i wasn’t even there for ten minutes and i felt like i was suffocating.  _ kyungsoo _ . he had so much stuff thrown everywhere that i couldn’t see the floor! there was a half-eaten apple just thrown to the side! his teacup —“

 

kyungsoo lets him ramble, let’s him get everything off his chest. by the end he’s surprised he hadn’t thrown up while describing chanyeol’s house. his friend has a look of understanding and disgust on his face when he stops to breathe. 

 

kyungsoo runs a hand through his red hair before scratching at his chin. “chanyeol didn’t really strike me as someone who would be so unorganized.”

 

baekhyun scoffs, “unorganized? that is  _ not  _ the word if use to describe that hell hole.”

 

kyungsoo smiles. “whatever. i came to tell you dinner is ready. jongdae’s probably already eaten all of it, but maybe he left us some scraps.”

 

they grin at each other as they climb off baekhyun’s bed. when they walk into the kitchen they see that, no, jongdae has not eaten everything already, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. 

 

“hey, baek.” jongdae swallows his food. “nice alien mermaid thing,” he compliments, gesturing to baekhyun’s thigh. 

 

“thank you,” he says as he takes a seat. kyungsoo sits at the head of the table, and they dig in. 

 

“so, hyunnie,” jongdae starts after they’ve finished their meal. although kyungsoo was the one who cooked (he’s the only one that cooks. baekhyun and jongdae somehow managed to melt his frying pan and he had since banned them from using more than the microwave) it was his one night of the week to do the dishes, so he listens in from the kitchen. “why is your body covered in pretty drawings?”

 

“chanyeol’s house was an … adventure,” he mutters. he grips the edge of the table. just the mere thought of the other’s house made his skin crawl. 

 

“ah,” jongdae voices. “yeah. apparently it’s mostly his roommate that makes the mess, though, so don’t let that stop you from going after him.”

 

baekhyun stares at jongdae. “does that mean … you knew? about chanyeol’s house?” he doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question but he is trying to not suddenly hate jongdae at the moment. 

 

jongdae looks at him wide eyed before quickly shaking his head. “no! well, yes — but not really!”

 

he raises an eyebrow and hears kyungsoo’s snort from the kitchen. 

 

“okay, let me explain.” jongdae waves his hands around as he tries to collect his thoughts. “okay. minseok lived with chanyeol at the start of the semester, yeah? that’s how we all met. anyways, he told me that chanyeol wasn’t actually that bad, and he probably would’ve stayed chanyeol’s roommate, but you know. exchange program and all that.”

 

baekhyun rolls his eyes and crosses his inked up arms, gesturing for jongdae to hurry up. he already  _ knew  _ all of this. he had to listen to jongdae complain about how much he missed his boyfriend at least twice a week. 

 

(minseok had been chosen for an all-expenses-paid, year-long exchange program to china. luckily, he is due home next month, which means jongdae will at long last be put out of his misery.)

 

“right, okay, you know this.  _ anyways _ , so minseok went to go pick up the last of his stuff before he left, and afterwards he told me that the place was a pigsty. i didn’t — i didn’t mean to not warn you, baek. you gotta believe me. i only remembered min even saying that after you’d already left. i was going to text you but i was at work and i’d hoped that by now chanyeol would have, i don’t know, cleaned up? min said he’s not one to leave a mess like that.”

 

baekhyun looks down at his hands. his drawings stop at his wrists, where he can see faint scars along the back of his hands from days when no one was there to stop the clawing. 

 

jongdae reaches out and grabs his hands. his lips are pulled into a frown and his whole face screams, ‘ _ in sorry, please forgive me.’ _

 

sighing, he says, “i felt like i was going to  _ cry _ . the living room — ugh. i’m glad i didn’t have to see the rest of the house. i forgive you for not telling me day. next time, please just remember that — that sometimes i can’t handle a mess like any other regular person, okay?”

 

jongdae nods. “i’m sorry. but, um, make sure to talk to chanyeol, okay? you know him, he’s probably worried.”

 

baekhyun gives a little smile. “i will.”

 

 

* * *

 

baekhyun settles further into his bedsheets. he decided to wait to call chanyeol until after he cleaned up for the night. it had taken a bit of scrubbing, but he was able to get most of the ink off his body. 

 

thumb hovering over chanyeol’s contact, baekhyun takes a deep breath before pressing the call button. 

 

chanyeol picks up on the third ring.  _ “baek?” _

 

he sighs, instantly relaxing at the sound of his kind-of-friend’s voice. 

 

“yeah. listen, um, i’m sorry about earlier. i didn’t actually have anything to do i just — your place is  _ really messy _ .”

 

there’s silence for a moment before chanyeol sighs,  _ “yeah, sorry about that. my roommate is just. ugh. i’ve been trying to get the school to let me change rooms but i can never get the place clean enough for other people to be interested.” _

 

“yeah, well. it just — i have this thing with dirty things, right? and i just couldn’t spend another second in that place.”

 

chanyeol sighs again and it sounds so  _ sad _ that baekhyun’s heart hurts. 

 

_ “honestly, that’s probably the cleanest it’s been in months. i think i’ve forgotten what it is like to be somewhere clean.”  _ chanyeol stops talking for a second. “ _ ever since my roommate moved in i have felt gross all over, but i guess months of living with it has made me sort of immune to the feeling. and, like, i’m  _ really  _ sorry.” _

 

“why?”

 

_ “because when we first met, jongdae, kyungsoo, and minseok all warned me that you have a problem with super messy places. and a few months ago, when you had those bandages on your hands? well, i got kyungsoo to tell me what happened. i guess — i guess i’m just sorry that all of that completely slipped my mind when invited you over.” _

 

baekhyun smiles into his pillow. “it’s okay.”at the sound of chanyeol protesting, he amends his statement. 

 

“well, okay, it wasn’t  _ okay  _ at all. when i got home i had to try so hard not to claw my skin off,  _ but.  _ i really appreciate you apologizing for today.”

 

_ “of course, baek.” _

 

they sit in silence for a moment, each just listening to the other breathe. finally, chanyeol breaks the silence, “ _ oh! i totally forgot to mention this, but i’m moving out!” _

 

“oh?”

 

“ _ yeah!” _ chanyeol responds enthusiastically.  _ “i got an email today from the school saying that they had a single dorm i could move into. it’ll cost a bit more because i won’t have someone to share the bill with, but i’m sure i’ll be fine. anything to get away from that hell hole.” _

 

baekhyun laughs. “congratulations! when do you move out?”

 

_ “this weekend,” _ chanyeol responds.  _ “but you know what’s the best part?” _

 

“what?”

 

_ “you can come over more.” _

 

baekhyun blushes. “oh?”

 

chanyeol giggles childishly on his end,  _ “yeah! i mean, only if you  _ want  _ to, of course. but i promise that if you do, i’ll make sure the dorm is extra clean, just for you!” _

 

he giggles, “just for me? what about when you invite other friends over?”

 

_ “nope. they can deal with a pair of dirty socks on the floor.” _

 

baekhyun gasps, “ _ socks?!  _ on the  _ floor _ ? sacrilege!”

 

both men laugh together. 

 

_ “but you’ll come over, yeah?”  _ chanyeol asks. baekhyun thinks he sounds uncertain, but he can’t be sure. 

 

“i will.”

 

_ “good. i want to cook for you.” _

 

baekhyun pauses. risking it, he asks, “cook for me? that sounds like it has a deeper meaning.”

 

_ “well, i mean.”  _ chanyeol pauses and baekhyun can picture him scratching his head with a frown on his face.  _ “i was maybe planning on asking you out? over food? try to win your heart over with my amazing skills?” _

 

“i don’t know, yeol. i live with kyungsoo; i’m fed at least two delicious meals a day,” baekhyun teases. “but, i don’t think you’ll have to try that hard to win the rest of my heart.”

 

chanyeol lets out a big sigh,  _ “does that mean yes?” _

 

“does what mean yes?”

 

_ “does what you just said mean  _ yes, i’ll be your boyfriend,  _ or not?” _

 

“who said anything about boyfriend’s? you haven’t even asked yet!”

 

_ “oh, but —“ _

 

“nope,” baekhyun interrupts, “you are not permitted to speak any more of this until i see this marvellous dinner you mentioned. until then, i want to hear no talk about  _ boyfriends.” _

 

_ “yessir! i guess i’ll have to hurry up moving in to my new dorm then, huh?” _

 

“well if you really want to win my heart, good sir, it would do you well to be speedy, before another man catches my eye.”

 

chanyeol laughs,  _ “you got it, baek. goodnight.” _

 

“goodnight, yeol.” baekhyun hangs up feeling the happiest he’ll probably ever be. 

  
(false. he  _ actually  _ feels that happy when chanyeol asks him out over dinner, which was actually one of the most delicious things baekhyun had ever tasted in his 23 years of life. he might’ve even cried a bit.)

 


End file.
